This is not Nemo's Pizza!
by RedHotHabanero89
Summary: Obito gets a wrong number, but the calls won't stop! ObiDei, modern AU. Just something humorous for TobiDei week.


**So I found out it is TobiDei week and wanted to write something for it. I don't know if there is a theme I'm supposed to be following or what, but I wanted to write this!**

 **ObiDei, AU.**

The ringing startled Obito from his book. It took him a moment to realize it was his phone. He leaned across the arm of the sofa to grab his cell from where it rested on the end table. He looked at the screen as it continued to buzz in his hand.

He didn't recognize the number, but he accepted the call anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I need to place an order for delivery, un." A young man's voice said through the speaker. Obito rolled his eyes.

"Sorry buddy you have the wrong number."

"This isn't Nemo's pizza? "

"No, it's not."

"Oops, sorry about that, un."

"No problem." Obito hung up the phone returning to his book. He had just found his spot when his phone rang again. He frowned looking back over. Wait a minute, isn't this the same number? Obito sighed and swiped his thumb over the answer button. "Hello?" He said again with a hint of annoyance.

There was moment of hesitation from the other end, then the same voice asked uncertainly, "um, is this Nemo's?"

Yep same number. "No," Obito snapped. "You just called me remember?" He could hear the other guy swear.

"I'm sorry, I'm not doing this on purpose I swear, un!"

"Okay, well you need to check your number 'cause this is definitely the wrong one."

"Right," he could hear a light chuckle from the other side. "Hey, you don't by any chance know the correct number for Nemo's pizza do you, un?"

"No, I don't." Obito said in amusement, "sorry." Actually Obito had never even been to the local restaurant. Though from what he's heard it's supposed to be pretty good.

"Thanks anyway and sorry for bothering you, un."

"It's alright," Obito smiled before adding, "enjoy your pizza if you ever manage to order it."

"God I hope so!" The guy groaned, "I'm starving, un!"

Obito laughed, "good luck."

"Thanks, bye!"

"Goodbye," Obito hung up with a smile and shake of his head. He continued to read uninterrupted for the rest of the night. He wondered idly as he climbed into bed, if the caller had managed to get his food, or if he had given up and got something else.

* * *

The following week passed by in its usual manner with plenty of work and not much else. Friday night found Obito curled up once again with his book. The week had been a hectic one and he didn't feel like going out to do anything more interesting. Not that he would have known what to do anyways, Obito didn't have much of a social life.

More than an hour has passed without him moving from his spot on the couch. He was completely lost in the book when his phone rang out shrilly. Obito extended his arm and without taking his eyes off the page began to pat around to find it. His finger tips grazed across its smooth surface, then without so much as a single glance he pushed the button on the side to silence it. He has just reached a critical part of the story there was no way he was stopping now!

Less than a minute later the phone went off again, and again he silenced it. Whoever it was could wait. He highly doubted it was anyone important anyway. Obito refocused on his book.

Ring.

"Oh for the love of," Obito snatched up the phone. An unknown number light up the screen. This had better be damn good, he thought sourly. "Yes?" He asked.

Loud music assaulted his ears.

"Yeah, I need to place a large order, un!" The caller shouted over a crowd of voices.

You've got to be kidding me. "Seriously? Do you think this is funny?" Apparently he wasn't heard because the caller continued on.

"I need three extra-large pizzas. One with pepperoni, one supreme and one."

Obito cut him off, "You have the wrong number."

"What? I know I'm trying to!" The caller shouted apparently to someone else.

Obito held the phone away from his ear with a scowl.

"Sorry did you get all that, un?"

"No because you have the wrong number!"

"What?"

"I said you have the wrong number!"

There was a long pause on the other end just the sounds of a wild party coming through. Finally the man spoke again, "oh so it's you again?"

Obito's eyes narrowed, he didn't like the annoyed tone the guy had. "Me again? Don't say it as if I'm the nuisance here!"

"Well it's not my fault, un."

"How is it not your fault? You're the one dialing the number, it's completely your fault!"

"Look sometimes the number works just fine and I get Nemo's pizza no problem. Other times _you_ pick up and I get no pizza, un."

"Because you're pushing the wrong buttons."

"I'm not though I swear!"

"I'm pretty sure you are, and now if you don't mind I'm in the middle of something very important." Whatever had been going on the noise suddenly die away. Obito assumed the guy must have gone outside or something.

"No you're not, un."

"Excuse me?" Obito was sure he had miss heard.

"If it were that important you would have hung up a long time ago, un."

What the hell? Who dose this guy think he is? And perhaps more importantly is how is he able to pick up on that? Obito looked around his tiny apartment as if expecting to find someone spying on him.

"I'm just saying," the guy said pulling Obito's attention back to the call. "You obviously aren't doing anything at all. Otherwise you would have hung up already, un."

Obito's grip on his cell tightened. His patients rapidly fading. "You dial a wrong number, the same number for a third time I might add, and you have the audacity to make assumptions about me?"

"Relax, no reason to get your panties in a twist, un."

"Fuck off." Obito ended the call and tossed the phone away. He glared at it for a solid five minutes just daring it to ring. Luckily it remind quiet. After a few more minutes he relaxed before going into the kitchen to pour himself something to drink. He stood by the sink as he guzzled down the beverage. After he finished he rinsed the glass then placed it on the rack to dry.

He went back into the cozy living room picking up his book to continue on with the story, but he wasn't able to get back in the zone. "Damn that guy," Obito grumbled to himself. He still couldn't believe what a jerk he had been. With a resigned sigh he slip a book mark between the pages and closed the cover. Guess he would just go to bed early.

On Saturday morning Obito spent most of the day running errands and made a quick stop at his favorite café for lunch. After that he decided to spend some time outside enjoying the warm spring weather. It had been a brutal winter and he was more than ready to soak up the sun shine and fresh air. He strolled leisurely through the park before taking a seat at one of the benches. He sat there for a while just people watching. There were plenty of joggers out and herds of children at the various playgrounds dotted across the park.

Obito closed his eyes as a warm patch of sun crossed over him. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Call it what you want, but he knew, before it was even out of his pocket, what number he'd see. Sure enough there it was, that same unknown number. He debated on ignoring it, but for some reason he found his thumb sliding to accept the call. He wordlessly held it up to his ear.

"You answered!" Came a disbelieving tone.

"You do know if I hear so much as a whispered mention of pizza come through this phone, I'm going to hunt you down and make sure you can never eat again." Obito said in monotone. To his surprise there was bright laughter coming through. He blinked in surprise the guy actually had a nice laugh.

"Yeah, sure you will. Anyway that's not why I called, un."

"You do know who you're talking to right?" Obito asked skeptically.

"Um, no actually I have no idea who I'm talking to, un!" There was that laugh again and a hint of teasing this time.

"But I mean, you know it's me right? Wrong number guy, you don't think it's someone else do you?"

"Nope, and you're not a wrong number this time! Because I intended to call you, un."

Obito arched an eyebrow, "you don't even know me."

"I know, I just wanted to apologize for last night and to tell you I figured out the problem, un."

Obito couldn't help but smile at the proud tone the other had in his voice. "You mean besides the fact that you're a moron that can't dial a number to save his life?" Obito kept his tone light and teasing as well. Truthfully he had felt a little guilty for getting so angry the night before. It had been an honest mistake after all.

"Funny, but no like I said it wasn't my fault! It turns out that there's some kind of glitch between your number and Nemo's pizza number. I went in there to find out if they were having problems and they said they've been getting a lot of wrong numbers as well, un."

"A glitch with the number hu?" Well that was certainly odd.

"Yeah, it probably doesn't help that your numbers are exactly the same except for one!" The caller laughed again, "anyways the guy I talked to said they've contacted the phone company and are changing their number. So you won't be bothered again, un."

"Oh," Obito said as an inexplicable feeling of disappointment passed through him. "Well that's good then."

"Yep, I just thought maybe I owed you an explanation, un."

"Thank you."

"Sure, sorry again for bothering you like that, un."

"No it's Okay."

"Alright well later, un!"

"Yeah, bye." Obito watched the call end. That takes care of that little annoyance then, he thought. But if he were being completely honest with himself, it had been some what entertaining. The caller, whoever he was, had a nice voice Obito reflected. It was smooth and flowly. The tone was low, not lower than Obito's own voice mind you, but still very pleasant on the ear. _I wonder what his name is?_ Oh well that's one thing he will probably never know.

A few weeks passed by and Obito had all but forgotten about the calls from the mystery man. So when he was working late one evening he was completely surprised to hear that familiar voice on the other end.

"Hello?" Obito answered the phone without looking; he had been expecting a call from somebody else. There was no reply. Obito looked up from his paperwork. "Hello?" He tried again, this time someone spoke.

"Your gonna hate me, un." Obito didn't need to see the others face to know it wore a sheepish smile.

"You have got to be kidding me," Obito sighed as he tossed his pencil down and pushed back from his desk.

"I totally forgot they changed their number, un!"

"Why on earth do you even eat so much pizza?!"

"Don't judge me!"

Obito smirked and shook his head. "Seriously, you need to lay off. I think you have a problem!"

"I do not, I can stop any time I want." Obito snorted and he could hear the other chuckle as well. "Besides it's good for you, un!"

"Good for you? It's a heart attack on a plate!"

"No, I mean it's good for your soul, un."

Obito blinked. Oh God did he seriously just say that? " ... You stole that line from Sponge Bob."

"You'd only know that if you also watch Sponge Bob, un." The other retorted.

Obito mentally cursed, and held his chin up defensively. "Alright so you caught me."

"I'm just messing with you," the guy chuckled. "So am I interrupting something super important again, un?"

Obito ignored the sarcasm evident in the words, "I'm unfortunately still at work."

"Shit, sorry I'll let you go,"

Obito hurried to stop him from hanging up.

"Actually, you calling is kinda forcing me to take a break. Which I didn't even realize how badly I needed until this very moment."

"Well I'm bored anyways ... wanna talk, un?"

Obito stared. Talk? Oh what the hell why not, "sure," he agreed.

They chatted about this and that for the next three hours. Even after Obito got back to his paperwork. He just switched the call to speaker and they continued on. He was the only one left on the whole floor so it's not like he will be disturbing anyone else. Even now as Obito descended in the elevator to the parking garage they were still connected.

"Hey," Obito said after getting into his car. "I need to get home now." There was a long dawn out yawn.

"I'm gonna crash now too. This was fun though, un."

Obito smiled, "yeah, it was." Which was both weird and surprising.

"Night, un!"

"Goodnight," Obito shook his head. As always he was left feeling perplexed by the phone call. Only this time he was left wondering if he would be hearing from him again.

He didn't have to wait long. Early the next morning Obito woke to the annoying sound of his phone vibrating next to his keys on his bed side table. He answered in a groggy and less than friendly voice.

"So I was thinking it might be fun to continue talking like this, un." The voice bright and far to energetic for this early in the morning.

"What?" Obito asked utterly confused.

"You know how some people have pen pals? Well we can be like that but over the phone, un."

"What?" Obito repeated.

"Hello aren't you listening, un?"

"No you stupid prick, it's seven o'clock in the morning! On a Sunday!" Obito snapped pushing himself up to one elbow.

"Jeez, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Speaking of which, what side do you sleep on, un?"

"You're joking."

"No, like I said we can be phone friends, but we have to know things about each other. So answer the question, un!"

"If I answer will you stop shouting?" Obito pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Yes."

"I sleep on the right, on my stomach." He flopped back down pulling the covers up over his head as he did.

"Interesting, I sleep on the left and right side and the positions may vary, un."

Obito snorted, "Yes it's all very fascinating. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"No. I've got a whole list of questions so get your ass up and go make a pot of coffee! ... Do you drink coffee, un?"

"Yeesss."

"Me too, now chop chop. I'm already on my second pot, un!"

Obito glared and grumbled expletives as he rolled out of bed. He shuffled into the kitchen wondering all the while why on earth he was letting someone he has never even met order him around on the phone!

A few cups of coffee, and some toast, later Obito was coherent and able to keep up with the conversation. He even fired back some questions of his own.

"Alright so tell me truthfully," Obito began. "How much pizza do you eat in a month?"

"I order almost every weekend, un." There was no shame in the reply. Not even a hint of it.

"And what are your favorite toppings?"

"Chicken, jalapeño, and pineapple, un."

Obito wrinkled his nose, "that sounds awful."

"No, it's amazing I swear, un!"

"I'll take your word for it."

"Okay, it's my turn! Do you have any hobbies, un?"

Obito paused to consider the question, do I have any hobbies? "Well I do love to read."

"Reading hu?" He didn't sound all that impressed. "So is there a particular genre you like, un? "

Obito cleared his throat suddenly feeling embarrassed. "I, uh, I like story's with a good plot. Usually one that's centered around two characters and the, uh, relationship between them."

A moment of silence past. Obito could feel it coming.

The other man burst out laughing. "You read romance novels, un!" The tips of Obito's ears glowed red as he glared at the wall. He really wished he had said something else. "Are they at least kinky sex novels with plenty of smut, un?" Definitely should have said anything else! "Oh my God, so it's just those cheesy mushy gooey love story's that always end in a happy ending, un?" The guy was in hysterics.

"They don't always end happily," Obito said defensively, though he's yet to read one that didn't.

"But nobody getting a good fucking, un?"

"There's sex sometimes."

"You mean the kind when the author just says _they made love then held each other until the sun came up_ , un?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"Not at all. Except it's boring, un!" He exaggerated the word. Obito rolled his eyes.

"So you read a lot of porn then do you?" He asked dryly.

"No, I watch a lot of porn, un." Obito could hear the smug tone. He quickly changed topics.

"What about you then? What are your hobbies?"

"I'm an artist, un."

"An artist," Obito was genuinely interested. "What kind of art do you do?"

"I dabble in a little bit of everything, but I love working with clay the most, un."

Interesting, "so are you any good?"

"I'm the best, un!"

Obito could have seen that one coming.

They talked on for the entire day. They both walked around doing various household chores. Obito switched to speaker so he could shave while still carrying on the conversation. He could hear the rumble of a washer and dryer from the other end of the line. They took a lunch break around noon. Both sitting down to eat a hastily made meal while talking around mouths full of food. At one point the other had shouted frantically that his phone was about to die. Obito chuckled at the mad scramble he could hear as the guy plugged the phone in. Later they realized they were both half heartedly watching the same show on tv. At the end of the night they each went to lay down, Obito listened as the other mans breathing became slower and deeper.

"You still with me?" Obito asked after a long silence.

"Yeah, I'm still here, un." The other mans voice had turned soft and silky. Obito imagined he must be lying with his eyes closed and the phone next to his ear. Not for the first time he wondered with the guy looks like.

"I think we should call it a night don't you?" Obito said albeit a bit reluctantly.

He picked up on a feathery hum. The guy made that sound a lot.

"Yeah, guess so, un." Neither one moved to hang up the call. After a beat they both laughed at their foolishness. "I'll talk to you later then Nemo, un."

Obito chuckled at the nickname. "Alright pizza boy, sleep tight."

He waited listening to a soft giggle pour from the phone. He ended the call and smiled at the ceiling. What a bizarre turn of events. He couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed talking with someone so much. A warm feeling seeped into him as he drifted off to sleep. That night he dreamt of what his mystery caller could look like. He imagined a bright smile and shining eyes. With a note of mischief behind it all.

* * *

Three months later and the phone calls had become a regular, and highly anticipated, part of Obito's life. The two would usually talk at least twice a week. Sometimes for marathon calls that lasted hours other times just for a quick hello. Pizza boy, as he was now saved into his phone, was always the one to call. It had become an unspoken rule that they would steer clear of any personal information. Obito still had no idea what his real name was or where exactly he lived. Though they both knew it was in the same city.

One night there was a significant lull in conversation where they were content to just listen to the background noises coming from the others phones. Obito was stretched out on the couch with hands clasped behind his head and the phone cradled to his ear. He listened to the rhythmic scratching and tapping of a pencil as the artist sketched. An idea has been brewing in his mind for sometime now, and although they had briefly mentioned meeting before, there hadn't been any real conversation on the subject.

Obito felt as if they had reached a point where they have learned all they can about each other over the phone. Even though he knew it didn't make much sense, he wanted to expand their relationship. Take it to the next level. Obito wanted to meet him.

"Hey," Obito started.

"Humm?"

"What if we met up?" He let the words tumble out before he lost his nerve like so many times before. He held his breath. The other side of the call was dead quiet. The silence stretched on for so long that he actually checked the screen to see if he had been hung up on. But no, the call was still connected.

"So what do you think?" Obito asked in a shaking voice. He feared for a moment that his question would once again go unanswered. But finally he did receive one.

"This could mess everything up you know, un."

"I don't think it will."

"You sound pretty certain, un."

Obito was certain though he wasn't sure why. He heard a sharp intake of breath. He held his own.

"What the hell, life's too short right? Let's meet, un."

"Yeah?" Obito didn't even try to mask his relief. He hadn't been at all sure what the reaction to the proposal would be. He sat up with a large grin. "How about tomorrow then? We can meet at the park."

They agreed on a time then got ready to say goodnight.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, un."

Obito could feel excitement radiating from both sides of the call.

"Yeah, tomorrow."

Obito left his house an hour early the flowing day. He made a quick pit stop before making his way to the designated side of the park. He got out of the car and looked around. It only occurred to him now that he had no way of identifying the man. At that moment his phone chimed, he smiled after fishing it from his pocket.

"Are you here yet, un?"

Obito slipped back into his car before answering. He didn't want to be spotted first. "Yeah I just got here."

"I'm walking around right now," Obito noted he sounded nervous. That made two of them then. Obito scanned the groups of people walking about. So far no one jumped out. He was just about to tell him so when someone did catch his eye.

A young man with a waterfall of golden hair was slowly walking by. He had a cell phone pressed to his ear and was turning about. Clearly looking for someone. Obito's heart gave a hard thump. Could this be him?

He slowly climbed back out of his car. The young man had stopped walking, but was looking in the opposite direction. "Hey, are you wearing a black and red hoodie?" Obito asked.

"Y-yeah."

Obito smiled widely, "I see you."

"No fair! Where are you, un!" Obito watched as the blond bounced on his toes then whirled around. The blond did a double take when his eyes landed on Obito.

"I see you, un." His voice was quiet and breathy.

"I know." Obito said just as softly.

There was a long pause as the two simply stood there gaping at one another. It probably looked pretty odd to anyone else passing by. But they didn't notice anyone else. Slowly the blond made his way forward. He stopped when they were only feet apart.

"Hi." He said.

Obito jolted slightly, suddenly realizing they were still speaking through the phones. "I think we can put these down now."

The blond smiled almost bashfully, "I don't want to. This is too weird, un."

Obito chuckled and hung up the phone. After a second the blond followed suit.

"Nice to finally meet you," Obito said.

"Yeah, nice to meet you too. Nemo, un." The blond grinned.

Obito laughed before remembering what he had stopped to pick up on his way. "Oh, that reminds me." He turned to duck back into his car. "Ta da!" He grinned holding out a large cardboard box. The words Nemo's pizza was scrawled across the top.

The blond threw his head back and laughed. Obito felt his heart stutter at the sound. It sounded even better in person.

"Shall we?" Obito nodded towards a shaded picnic table a few feet over. When they sat down Obito turned the box to the blond before opening it. "One large, chicken, jalapeño and pineapple pizza."

"You remembered, un!" The blond was beaming as he wasted no time digging right in. Obito let him chew before speaking.

"What do you think? Time to share real names?"

The blond regarded him closely while licking his lips. "Deidara," he said at long last.

"Obito," he smiled then grabbed a slice of the pizza. He eyed it skeptically, but Deidara urged him to try it. He chewed slowly at first then pulled a face. He watched Deidara's face fall.

"You don't like it, un?"

"I'm just kidding. It's actually not to bad." Obito winked and took another bite. He was glad to have stopped for it. Not only was it proving to be a great ice breaker, but the look on the blonds face was priceless.

Soon all that remained of the pizza was some half eaten crusts. The two were feeling comfortable around each other too and were talking like they always did. Only this time Obito didn't have to imagine what the others smile looked like or what he was doing whenever he made that soft humming noise, which was biting his lip. What he enjoyed most was the shy way Deidara kept peeking at him whenever he thought Obito wasn't looking.

Before long the sun was going down and it was time to go.

"I'm really glad we did this," Obito said as they walked slowly over to his car.

"Me too," Deidara blushed slightly when he looked up to find Obito staring at him.

"Thank you for meeting me, Deidara." Obito said.

Deidara smiled, "sure, and next time I'll bring the pizza, yeah, un?"

Obito nodded, "next time." He liked the way that sounded.

"Night Obito, un." Deidara flashed him one last dazzling smile then turned away. Walking in what Obito assumed was the direction for home. He watched until the blond was nothing more than a golden spark in the dying sunlight.

"Goodnight," Obito smiled to himself as he set off for home.

 **I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please let me know what you think.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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